journal entry

Sunday May 31, 2009.
Yesterday we went to Hauula to have an island experience. Eating at the Local Papa Ole’s for lunch with the Bopp family. Tama, Gailyn, Indigo, gorgeous girl of 8 and Sage, beautiful boy of 6. It was fun to be with a family and children. They are great people and have become dear friends, giving us love and assistance and directions for everything. They came back to our house and we cut up a pineapple that we bought roadside from Ava at her local stand. Ava is so kind to us and tried to give us everything once she saw our missionary tags. We tried to pay her full price but she would not hear of it. She makes the most delicious fresh juice and fruit drinks and insisted we each have one. It was divine. Papaya, Mango, bananas, pineapple juice….and whatever else. Very delicious. So lovely are the people here. The Bopp family played on the beach while I rested in a lawn chair from our moving experience. I was bushed. We moved from our Vacation Rental over the garage on part of the day Thursday and finished Friday afternoon. We still have much to get settled. It wasn’t so hard but was; due to the rigorous work schedule we keep up. I just get a little worn out. We run from thing to thing and the move intensified fatigue, but I feel strength and vigor return as we go along. We go early each day and have only one down morning a week, sometimes none. 8 a.m. is the norm.
Today I was called on to speak impromptu in Sacrament Meeting. I can now think of more things to say but I delivered and it is done. I bore my testimony and told of how pleased we are to be serving in this Paradise among such choice people as they are. Most of the students here live in TVA housing, ( Temple View Housing,) including our ward which is the married student 2nd Ward 5th Stake. They are in sight of the gorgeous Laie Temple which is closed for complete overhaul renovation until June of 2010. That will be a great time, the rededication. We are so excited to be serving at this historic time when the Temple will re-open.
We are having combined Elders Quorum and Relief Society meeting today and our Teacher is our Bishop. Bishop Buckingham who has been a marriage and family relations counselor for over 30 years. These are my notes from his talk. Very appropriate to a ward of newly weds – and old timers too. He has great advice!
Proverbs 10:13 says: Only by pride cometh contention, but with the well advised is Wisdom. (I’ve always said that the answers to all of life is in the scriptures. Seek and find them.)
He goes on to say:
What do boxers do when they go into the ring before the fight?
They shake hands and have RULES
Marriages should also have RULES OF ARGUMENTS.
No yelling
No name calling
Yelling and name calling is grounds to walk away. Dialogue is over when 1 and 2 happen. These things make you forget the issue. Even pet words used on us can be trip wires….
Remember that we all bring our personal history and unresolved historical issues to our marriages. Be aware of what you brought to the marriage that can be an issue – causing a trip wire. Trip wires are easily camoflauged but easily tripped on. We tend to put disproportionate amounts of emotion on something that our spouse may trip on. We create mine fields that our spouses have to tip toe around. We all have different perspectives. What unresolved issues you have that you bring to the marriage that cause trip wires and mine fields have to be identified and diffused. Your spouse doesn’t want to intentionally upset you. How is he or she to know??
Lack of sleep, pressures, deadlines at work, hunger etc. tax our physical strength and patience. Pick a time when you have physical and emotional energy to resolve conflicts. Be hyper vigilant in keeping peace in the evenings because that iw when most arguments start, when people are spent and tired. Criticism and complaints start arguments.
A study was done that concluded that ones who stayed married give 5 to 1 more compliments and affirmations than criticisms. This builds up an emotional bank account for rough times.
Keep the emotional bank accounts healthy........
After Sacrament Meeting today he asked all our ward to consider 3 things.
1. Get more out of Sacrament - bring a notepad and take notes
2. Go to a really nice restaurant this week and have a really nice celebration dinner. Save the receipt and let that receipt be your benchmark for your fast offering donation. It isn’t about the money. It is about Sacrifice. We need to sacrifice more and then we shall reap the blessings that come from it.
3. If any of you are putting off having children, he challenged the congregation to rethink their posture. We gain Godly attributes by, through, and because of our children. By being parents. Take it to the Lord.
Gil said we are good on 1 and 2. Are we going to have more children???
Love to all.